Barfstool At It Again

I see Barfstool and the group of assailants have moved thear funny people to Chicago. The company who hires zero black people or women, have decided to come to MY city, where the weather is unlike no other, so they can sexually harass everyone they see.

What can I say, my city where I dwell. We have pizza, and they say casserole. No one likes Lou’s, like me. I remember once a guy came up to me, and said “pizza huh? For your husband? I hissed in his face and told him stats about pizza. He was floored with his mouth agape.

The barstool guys are the reason Patrick Kane gets away with what he did. Kobe burning on the side of the mountain?? Guess what, no mountains in Chicago, trever Bauer might as well join barstool. I remember Aaron Rogers doing push ups in the end zone, at MY SOLDIER field. And now Brandon Walker thinks he’s a fisherman extraordinaire? My Chicago water, you don’t know Chicago water like me. I ate at Gibson’s steak house once so I own this shit.

Look, Barfstool sometimes tries to ruin my life, because they’re jealous of my success, remember when Big Cat cowered in the corner because of me? I TAKE 👏 the 👏 train 👏 to 👏 the 👏 city. I dwell in the chi. Chi town is me, and I’m chi town, doesn’t mateerte if Dave Potroy likes Pequods, I taught them how to make the classic pizza when I lived in France and the United Nations. I guess Barfstool can just stay, a laughingstock.